Serious question which I cannot get out of my mind!
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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Serious question which I cannot get out of my mind!
OK here's the deal. Lets say you have to fly a Cessna for 3 or 4 hours... What will happen if you have to use the bathroom for either the big one or the little one? I Think a Mayday or a Pan Pan Pan when you ate mexican would be a bit over exaggerated...
Anyway, I've really been wondering what to do...
Because I can imagine that being very stressfull...
Anyway, I've really been wondering what to do...
Because I can imagine that being very stressfull...
Join Date: Feb 2010
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I had a friend simply ask to return back to the airport shortly after takeoff because he felt that he was going to lay some cable in his trousers. He was on a little Lear35 so there was no real crapper available. He walked by the passengers and then proceeded to grow a tail. It smelled and sounded real bad. It was one of those 2 second blow-outs! He then had to use his underwear to wipe off his ass and freeball it the rest of the trip. When he landed back at the FBO in Phoenix, the nice handler girl asked if she could take any trash and naturally he said there was indeed trash. She took his bag of excrement and put it in the trash can in the middle of the marble floored FBO. Soon afterward, people waiting in the VIP lounge complained of foul odors.
Join Date: Jan 2006
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RAF Leeming early Eighties, everyone sat in the crewroom drinking tea.
Tannoy message
"Emergency state 2, Emergency state 2.
A-10, 1 POB, ETA 5mins.
As the guys scrambled to get the crash kit and towing arm a quick phone call to the tower established that the aircraft was armed but strangely they were unable to give any advice on the nature of the emergency.
A/c lands, taxies off the runway then stops. Shortly afterwards a radio call from the tower says they have lost communication with the aircraft and can we investigate. After a high speed dash down the taxiway in a landrover we found the aircraft shut down and abandoned. No pilot.
A few moments later a very pale yank appears from the long grass pulling up his flight suit and requests a lift to the medical centre. It was only a 2 min drive but he was getting more and more urgent with his requests for us to hurry.
After recovering he explained that it was a very close call, he only just made it out of the cockpit, and as embaressing as it was he was certain declaring an emergency was the only (non messy) course of action.
Tannoy message
"Emergency state 2, Emergency state 2.
A-10, 1 POB, ETA 5mins.
As the guys scrambled to get the crash kit and towing arm a quick phone call to the tower established that the aircraft was armed but strangely they were unable to give any advice on the nature of the emergency.
A/c lands, taxies off the runway then stops. Shortly afterwards a radio call from the tower says they have lost communication with the aircraft and can we investigate. After a high speed dash down the taxiway in a landrover we found the aircraft shut down and abandoned. No pilot.
A few moments later a very pale yank appears from the long grass pulling up his flight suit and requests a lift to the medical centre. It was only a 2 min drive but he was getting more and more urgent with his requests for us to hurry.
After recovering he explained that it was a very close call, he only just made it out of the cockpit, and as embaressing as it was he was certain declaring an emergency was the only (non messy) course of action.
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For number 1's I can highly recommend using an empty water bottle....and yes I am speaking from experience! Had to do just that during a 5 hour x-country in a C172! The guy I went hour building with laughed for 4 days straight when I told him what I'd had to do....until on the 5th day he got caught short and found himself returning home with a lovely yellow water bottle! 
A word of advice though....if you're the only one onboard, as I was (thank god) then please make sure the aircraft is well in trim before attempting the manouevre.....a cockpit that smells like an old people's home is not a nice place to be!
For number 2's.... well I would grab your chart, look for the nearest suitable diversion and get down asap. Number 1's mid-flight is one thing and actually makes for good banter but fouling yourself is something you'll never ever live down!
Best of Luck whatever you decide!!!
A word of advice though....if you're the only one onboard, as I was (thank god) then please make sure the aircraft is well in trim before attempting the manouevre.....a cockpit that smells like an old people's home is not a nice place to be!For number 2's.... well I would grab your chart, look for the nearest suitable diversion and get down asap. Number 1's mid-flight is one thing and actually makes for good banter but fouling yourself is something you'll never ever live down!
Best of Luck whatever you decide!!!
Join Date: Dec 2005
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I think Transair and some of the other pilot retail shops still sell the 'Little Johnny', along with 'Lady J' adaptor.
Personally, a plastic water bottle or old coke bottle does the job just fine.
I do remember one particular glider trip, where myself and my flying buddy that day ended up playing pass the bottle on several occasions. We'd been airborne for somewhere in the region of 6 hours, enjoying ourselves at nearly 20,000 feet in the most spectacular wave.....absolutely no way were we giving up and heading for terra firma with such fantastic lift around!! Thank goodness most gliders have a DV panel on the canopy where you can stick the bottl out the window and chuck any unwanted 'water ballast'!!
Personally, a plastic water bottle or old coke bottle does the job just fine.
I do remember one particular glider trip, where myself and my flying buddy that day ended up playing pass the bottle on several occasions. We'd been airborne for somewhere in the region of 6 hours, enjoying ourselves at nearly 20,000 feet in the most spectacular wave.....absolutely no way were we giving up and heading for terra firma with such fantastic lift around!! Thank goodness most gliders have a DV panel on the canopy where you can stick the bottl out the window and chuck any unwanted 'water ballast'!!
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About 1 hour into a 2 hour 30 minute flight I started feeling the need to go (just a no. 1, fortunately), got steadily worse over the next half hour to point I was seriously considering using my fuel tester! (I've got on of the larger ones with the gauze on the top)
It did seem to stop feeling the need so bad just after this, probably something to do with getting into complex airspace and being distracted by radio etc. I made it to my destination without needing to use my fuel tester, though it felt like the flow wasn't going to stop when I got into the toilet!
I'll definitely carry an empty bottle from now on!
It did seem to stop feeling the need so bad just after this, probably something to do with getting into complex airspace and being distracted by radio etc. I made it to my destination without needing to use my fuel tester, though it felt like the flow wasn't going to stop when I got into the toilet!
I'll definitely carry an empty bottle from now on!
