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What are our Instructors really doing?

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Old 1st Aug 2006, 13:28
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What are our Instructors really doing?

I have always wondered what Instructors are actually doing when they say 'Go out and check the aeroplane, I'll be out in five minutes'. I have never received a satisfactory answer. First of all, it's never five minutes, more like ten and I've never seen any of them doing paperwork during the day, so it can't be that.

Perhaps they have to perform some kind of private fertility dance? Maybe some kind of bizzarre weight and balance ritual?

What do you all think?

The more humerous replies might receive a prize (probably not, but it doesn't hurt to ask).
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 13:36
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Originally Posted by DeeCee
I have always wondered what Instructors are actually doing when they say 'Go out and check the aeroplane, I'll be out in five minutes'. I have never received a satisfactory answer. First of all, it's never five minutes, more like ten and I've never seen any of them doing paperwork during the day, so it can't be that.
Cup of tea ?
Coffee ?
Wee ?
Fag ? (Cigarette, for US citizens)
Text girlfriend ?
Phone a friend ?
50:50 ?
Ask the audience ?
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 13:42
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Praying!

Lister
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 13:42
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It takes me up to 10 minutes (depending on the student) to pluck up courage.
I also need a couple of mins to warm up the throat for screaming (er...gentle vocal encouragement...) "pull back!"
KK
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 13:46
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Nervous wee...............!!
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 14:04
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Toilet,

Glug of water,

Answer a series of random detailed technical "how do I", "where is?" "can you help me with ?" questions from students and total strangers

Quick circuit or 2 with solo student who is bricking it on solo consolidation

Help someone else figure out how to start up or switch on radio

Tons of ridiculous paperwork and signatures in order to legalise the flight

quick banana to prevent collapsing

Oh goodness me is that the time now where is Bloggs? Oh Sh£$% he/she is in the aircraft waiting ! Classic is saying "start the engine and I will join you when I see it spinning," only to get into some fun hangar chat with a lovely potential female student and bloggs has already clocked up 20 minutes and hasn't actually left the chocks !
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 14:07
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for some reason best known to someone else my instructor always had this 19 yr old minxette scheduled to fly after me and she was always early so as I walked out to the steely craft he was flirting with the frippet like a man posessed , cant say i blame him she had far better legs in that Raf issue (probaly) short pleated skirt
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 14:38
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I have had 5 instructors so far doing my PPL, IMC and various rental checkouts. Apart from the first one that showed me a basic walk round during my PPL there has only been 1 other who actually took the time to check over the aircraft properly with me. I learnt more from him in that 10 minutes than the others put together. He quizzed me on what this does and how to check that this bit works properly, and if it looks like this then it won't work etc.

All of the others clearly had urgent business to attend to whilst I was out in the p*ssing rain or getting the Cessna tattoo on my forehead!
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 15:11
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Oh goodness me is that the time now where is Bloggs? Oh Sh£$% he/she is in the aircraft waiting ! Classic is saying "start the engine and I will join you when I see it spinning," only to get into some fun hangar chat with a lovely potential female student and bloggs has already clocked up 20 minutes and hasn't actually left the chocks ![/QUOTE]

Yes, that happened to me at Stapleford a few years ago. I sat there with the engine running until ATC asked me if I 'was ok?'. That was Jack - sadly no longer with us. He was great on the radio, gently correcting mistakes (unlike someone who I won't mention who had a lot less patience!).
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 15:18
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When I started learning to fly I naively thought that in those 10 minutes the instructors were sneakily eye balling me from behind a curtain in the club to make sure I looked like I knew what I was doing. Now that I am bit older and wiser I realise they didn't give jack sh*t and were far to busy doing much more important things
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 15:29
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Probably hitting on your beautiful girlfiend that you've left waiting in the club house.
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 15:47
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On my CPL course, having rec'd the mandatory "go and start up and I'll join you when you've started up etc etc" and having waited 20 minutes on the ground, I called Information with a 'lift and air taxi to remind the CFI' call.

Parking outside of his window I could see the conversation continuing inside, so I turned on the landing lights to attract attention.

Then a hand came up from inside and closed the window and blinds as the light and noise was disturbing the conversation ...

Finally, I shut down, went inside and said I was ready.

At which "go and start up and I'll etc etc"....

Rinse and Repeat.

h-r
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 16:08
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During PPL training, I found that backfiring the engine would remind the instructor that I was ready. Since becoming an instructor, I now use the time to sit and weep quietly in the toilets for five minutes.
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 17:16
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Its normally enough time for a quick pint to get some dutch courage.
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 18:32
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I think that some of them use the time to look at your file to work out what they will teach you this time.

C23
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 20:12
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When John sends Joe out to check the a/c and start up, he and his collegue look out the window and make bets.

"£5 says he'll come back in for the fuel strainer."

"It'll take him 3 attempts to get it running."

"5 minutes until he realises he's forgotten the keys"

h
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 20:14
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Anyone who has instructed at a busy school knows that these are the only breaks you get on a busy day, plus as someone else said it is good for student confidence, Potkettleblack makes a good point though and I would always try to do the walkround with someone I had not flown with already so I was happy with what they know.
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 20:33
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Originally Posted by hingey
When John sends Joe out to check the a/c and start up, he and his collegue look out the window and make bets.

"£5 says he'll come back in for the fuel strainer."

"It'll take him 3 attempts to get it running."

"5 minutes until he realises he's forgotten the keys"

h

Or the flipping headset!! uurgghhh.
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Old 1st Aug 2006, 21:18
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From the other side of the debate, what can be frustrating (in particular on a busy day) is the student who insists on conducting a Star Annual as a pre-flight. Once bloggs has put his spanners away its nearly time for the next lesson! A chance to enjoy a 3 course meal perhaps, or even have another cigarette.

In all seriousness though i prefer it that way round than the pre flight consisting of just checking the door opens and the seat supports your weight before we start.

As Duir says, it gradually gives the student more of the aeroplane more of the time.
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Old 2nd Aug 2006, 12:26
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Originally Posted by combineharvester
From the other side of the debate, what can be frustrating (in particular on a busy day) is the student who insists on conducting a Star Annual as a pre-flight. Once bloggs has put his spanners away its nearly time for the next lesson! A chance to enjoy a 3 course meal perhaps, or even have another cigarette.

In all seriousness though i prefer it that way round than the pre flight consisting of just checking the door opens and the seat supports your weight before we start.

As Duir says, it gradually gives the student more of the aeroplane more of the time.
Why let him do a star annual--your the instructor. students should know the difference and be taught the difference between a first flight of the day check which should be done or supervised by a qualified person--not a student and a brief walk around that is done after each subsequent flight.

Instructors need a break between flights so dont expect them to drop one student off and pick up another immeadiately, some even brief bewteen flights return phone calls and write records, some on the other hand are de-motivated lazy barstewards--- delete as appilcable. As in any service industry if you are not getting the service you expect complain, if that dosnt work, go eleswhere-- you should of course really be asking your instructor the thread question.
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