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Caption Competition Mk IV

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Caption Competition Mk IV

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Old 1st Feb 2024, 20:24
  #3161 (permalink)  
 
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The apprentice will fix it as soon as he can find that "Talking wrench".
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 21:17
  #3162 (permalink)  
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Seems an open and shut case...
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 21:18
  #3163 (permalink)  
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"I heard that a stewardess got sucked out on a 737".

"Yep. It was the co-pilot I believe".
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 21:57
  #3164 (permalink)  
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Bernie the Bolt revives The Golden Sh!t... Left a bit, down a lot... Mayday!
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 22:42
  #3165 (permalink)  
 
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Neatly executed, Hoskins, but what's the point?

That should be obvious, Shirley. The bolt stops the spring from extending, and the spring keeps pressure on the bolt.
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 22:44
  #3166 (permalink)  
 
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"We call these Schroedinger bolts, because they are both there and not there, and you won't know until you open the door..."
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 22:48
  #3167 (permalink)  
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"Listen sonny, we have all the right bolts, just not necessarily in all the right places..."
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 22:48
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Careless torque costs lives.
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 23:21
  #3169 (permalink)  
 
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And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, row 26 will be deplaned automatically.
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Old 1st Feb 2024, 23:23
  #3170 (permalink)  
 
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Da spring is sprung, der door is riz.
I wonder where dem bolties is.
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 09:27
  #3171 (permalink)  

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Well there's yer problem! That there's an Airbus bolt!
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 11:17
  #3172 (permalink)  
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Nah, it will be fine ...it's not like it will fall off!
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 11:26
  #3173 (permalink)  
 
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Here at Boeing we call them vibration absorbing washers.
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 13:36
  #3174 (permalink)  
 
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"So, before I sign off on this, we have one nut checker and one bolt checker here, and you're both happy, right?
What? You're both nut checkers? Oh, for heaven's sake... look, let's just get this thing over with, ok?" (scribble) "There."
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 14:55
  #3175 (permalink)  
 
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Is that fastener essential? I keep getting calls from an association that wants a bolt hole on the aircraft.

Who on earth is asking for that?

From the name of the club, I think they're from Denver.
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 15:06
  #3176 (permalink)  
 
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It's a case of simple logic, if I tightened them up, we wouldn't know if they were correctly torqued or not torqued correctly, BUT... If I leave them loose then there is only one assumption to be made, and that is they are not torqued correctly.
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 15:09
  #3177 (permalink)  
 
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Hmmm I can see your logic, if we add another 4 washers to the bolts then we can save time torqueing them up as it will take less work and preserve those threads not used.
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 15:10
  #3178 (permalink)  
 
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Hmmm, It's a bit of a Donald Trump quandry, did he screw it or did he not..
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 15:16
  #3179 (permalink)  
 
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It's a bit late in reaching the gate after the door has bolted.
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Old 2nd Feb 2024, 15:59
  #3180 (permalink)  
 
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Okay, and what about the other hinge?

I'll just say the door was designed by an Austrian corporal.
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