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Old 8th Apr 2014, 18:37
  #23241 (permalink)  
 
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Yes, Captain we are over a Mile High, what are you thinking about.
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Old 8th Apr 2014, 19:32
  #23242 (permalink)  
 
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"Yes it's inflated and he's a chinless wonder, does that mean it's RAF surplus?"
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Old 8th Apr 2014, 19:33
  #23243 (permalink)  
 
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Ladies and Gentlemen, we shall shortly be leaving Malaysian airspace....


(Sorry - bad taste).
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Old 8th Apr 2014, 21:45
  #23244 (permalink)  

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(Sorry - bad taste).
..........Yep. .
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Old 8th Apr 2014, 21:46
  #23245 (permalink)  
 
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"No I don't want double glazing thank you"
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Old 8th Apr 2014, 21:48
  #23246 (permalink)  

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"All I said was, I'm going to blow up the auto pilot & all he'll broke loose in the cabin!"
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Old 8th Apr 2014, 22:21
  #23247 (permalink)  
 
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Hello Ground Control, This is Major Tom............
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Old 8th Apr 2014, 22:40
  #23248 (permalink)  
 
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"All I can see from here is all these sad old men sat in front of computer screens typing silly messages to each other"
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 00:45
  #23249 (permalink)  
 
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"All I can see from here is all these sad old men sat in front of computer screens typing silly messages to each other"
And one of em looks like a wizard.
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 04:52
  #23250 (permalink)  
 
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Now we know how Ryanair can afford to offer those low low fares
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 09:33
  #23251 (permalink)  
 
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You mean you want the CVR preserved and when we land you want the manual inflation sounds?
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 09:39
  #23252 (permalink)  
 
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This is your stewardess speaking, some of you may have noticed the pilots being removed from the cockpit after they were reduced to vomiting shivering wrecks, and we are on autopilot called Hal9000, the most advanced autopilot ever, and has NEVER failed, so we are all in safe hands
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 09:45
  #23253 (permalink)  

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"I see you've inflated your Otto Pilot"
"And I see you haven't inflated your Mae West!"
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 09:55
  #23254 (permalink)  
 
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Ladies and gentlemen, if there is anyone aboard with flying experience and hasn't had the prunes...
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 11:11
  #23255 (permalink)  
 
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"Welcome, you are through to the Mayday Control Centre, unfortunately we are experiencing heavy call traffic at the moment, so please stay on the line and we will answer your call as soon as possible...

you are..... number.. four.. in the queue..

If you know the extension you require please press 1
If you are in a moving aircraft and wish inform us, please press 2
If you are calling to let us know you have an emergency or expect to have one shortly please press 3
If you wish to discuss your accident please press 4
If none of these apply please hold and an operator will speak to you shortly, your calls are important to us"
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 11:21
  #23256 (permalink)  
 
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"These new pilots seem to have little between their ears, but they always come to work with a smile on their face, however they are wearing me out with constant requests to keep them pumped."
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 11:33
  #23257 (permalink)  
 
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Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God,
Stewardess I have done nothing to you yet.
I know but I saw your take off and realise that if you continue like this I will be meeting God very shortly, figure putting in a call to tell him I am on way is a good idea.
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 16:29
  #23258 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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......"Lakenhurst Tower, Hindenburg II estimating you in 20 mins, request mooring instructions......

or

......."It's quite true, pigs can fly !".....
 
Old 9th Apr 2014, 17:29
  #23259 (permalink)  
 
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PAN ... PAN ... PAN .... I need a Bed Pan PDQ
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Old 9th Apr 2014, 17:30
  #23260 (permalink)  
 
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