Dans la Merde......

[wiggy]

Oh dear...story just made made lunchtime TV News here that French VSO is serious doo doo having "borrowed" an Alphajet several times ( and possibly used other assets) for weekend trips between his base in southwest France and his place in Provence..

Senior Minister not impressed...

Un général a-t-il utilisé un Alphajet pour partir en week-end ? La ministre des Armées ordonne une enquête - LCI (http://www.lci.fr/faits-divers/un-general-a-t-il-utilise-un-alphajet-pour-partir-en-week-end-la-ministre-des-armees-ordonne-une-enquete-2056922.html)



I'm sure it's never happened elsewhere... :oh:

[dakkg651]

Normal staff continuation training in my day :E

[Barksdale Boy]

Greatest faux pas probably using the expression "le week-end".

[PAXboy]

Now in English: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/jun/28/french-air-force-chief-accused-of-using-fighter-jet-for-weekend-jaunts-gen-richard-reboul-provence
Made by France’s Dassault and Germany’s Dornier, the Alpha jet is a light attack and advanced trainer aircraft used by the French air force aerobatic display team, La Patrouille de France, and to train fighter pilots. It has a top speed of 620 mph and guzzles about 175 gallons (800 litres) of fuel an hour.
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French media calculated that with the advanced jet fuel the aircraft runs on, each one of the general’s weekends away will have cost the airforce – and the taxpayer – between €14,000 (£12,300) and €16,000. A return train or low-cost airline fare would reportedly cost less than €200.
Must be time to give him gardening leave during the enquiry, which will only be concluded after his death and burial with full military honours...

[Pontius Navigator]

Like the Canadian pilot who used to hop over from Germany, dump his T-bird at Waddo and exit without PPR or even popping in to Ops.

Or the garden soil collected from Kenya by Canberra for his garden in Aden, but he was a feted war hero.

[MCR01]

I'm under R46N; usually no military jets at the weekend and rarely on Friday; this might explain the odd Alphajet whizzing over eastward on a Friday and westward on a Sunday?

[Gericault]

This is interesting. In my experience at the similar base, albeit a while ago, fast jet staff officers from HQs around France would come down to fly their allocated 12 hours (I think) per year. Some of these Abonnés or attached pilots would instruct and be useful to the Sqn, others would take a jet and head off. I'm not sure the system has changed that much and the pilots need to fly to keep their flying pay by French law. It also keeps a stock of pilots relatively current in flying at least and, God forbid, might motivate them to stay in their rubbish staff job knowing they can escape and slip the surly bonds as part of flying that desk.

[Warmtoast]

Group Captain (later Air Chief Marshal) Denis Smallwood was Station Commander at Biggin Hill when I was there 1953-55. With two auxiliary squadrons (600 & 615) and one regular squadron (41), Biggin’s normal working week was Wednesday to Sunday. ISTR that at the end of the working week on Sunday, the CO was in the habit of flying off to Honiley in a Meteor (one of 41’s perhaps), returning first thing on Wednesday.

His weekly trips to the Midlands (to see family – perhaps?) was well known on the station as he tended to be off late on Sunday as the last of Biggin’s weekend flyers returned to base.

[Lancman]

When I was stationed at RAF Ballykelly in 1952 my father died unexpectedly. A Shackleton programmed for a navex the next day flew a practice diversion to RAF Northolt before setting off westwards for the day. I was on board with my motor bike and got off at Northolt in time to make all the necessary arrangements for the funeral. The Services were more flexible and personal in those days.

[strake]

A return train or low-cost airline fare would reportedly cost less than €200.
Actually, it probably wouldn't cost anything - to him.
When train drivers retire on full pensions at 50 and then they and their families enjoy free first class travel thereafter, the cost of such a piffling amount of aviation fuel is a mere puddle in the sea of benefits French ex-civil servants and government employees enjoy.

[BEagle]

If Général Reboul has an annual allocation of flying hours and these flights were within the allowance, what's the big deal?

Someone has clearly felt jealous and tipped off the gutter press....

[Fareastdriver]

What's the point of having power if you can't abuse it.

[Wander00]

Strake - and ISTR the TGV driver's pension is tax free, or nearly so

[strake]

Wander00

Par la bouche du canasson... 6000€ per month when working, 4000€ per month tax free when retired.

[Pontius Navigator]

One of our staff pilots at Strad told of his trips to Castle Bromwich at weekend in a Meatbox with the occasional runway excursion on a wet runway.

I think the RAF stopped the practice of flying for your flying pay as it was deemed refresher training was more economical and effective. End of the 50s and the reduction of hundreds of jets to more complex ones?

Back in the 90s wasn't it when they reinstated the rule - fly for your pay - but only in a flying related post etc?

Staff to Sqn ratios would have been very low. I wonder what the ratio is today?

[rlsbutler]

In the mid-1960s, as instructors at Church Fenton, a chum and I took a Jet Provost to Kinloss to meet up with two young ladies he knew.

In due course I parked another JP at Exeter for the weekend to attend his wedding (to a different young lady) and met my wife to be.

The Armed Forces Covenant, perhaps then a little understated, seemed so much more genial than it is now.

[1.3VStall]

Many years ago there was a young officer at RAF Gutersloh, whose mother was remarrying on a Friday. He was flown to Warton in a Lightning TMk4. He attended his mother's wedding in Lancashire and returned to Germany later the same afternoon, using the same means of transport, and attended a Dining-Out Night in the evening.

I believe the two flights were logged as normal training sorties!

Bon courage, mon General.:ok:

[Fareastdriver]

It works in the civil world as well.

We had a S76 detachment to Haverfordwest for a thirty day hole in the Bristol Channel. At the end of the contract the helicopter had to be delivered back to Redhill where it was the executive hire/Al Bristow's personal transport.

During the detachment a pilot and an engineer had struck up a relationship with a couple of Welsh ladies and they were desirous of a dirty weekend in the Smoke. As it was enroute I wanted to call in to Odiham to have a chat with the blokes.

A call to Redhill; might be good for recruitment, and got the permission on condition that there were no landing charges. A call to Odiham, no problem, anything new is interesting.

I did the normal squadron arrival at Odiham; 145 knots, 60 degrees break, which surprised the civvy trained pilot, engineer and especially the Welsh bints. However, nothing was lost and we had a good coffee and a chat.

It's amazing how you can get away with using HM's or a company helicopter as an extension of your social life and get away with it.

[MPN11]

I'm glad that pilots need the occasional Navex or other CT to keep current, otherwise ...
I would have had a tedious drive from Northolt to Shawbury, instead of popping up there in a Gazelle.
The RAF Pistol Team wouldn't have got to Jersey several times to compete (C-130 & Andover CC2).

In older days (60s) Strubby launched a weekly (?) weekend run to Leuchars for golf at St Andrews (Refresher Training, Airways x-country). And Sgt Boulter pitched up every Friday in his Meteor from Chivenor. ISTR a Manby JP cost £0/10/0 for a weekend (to Unit funds) if it was 'justifiable training', provided (as with Sgt B) it was home in time for the 2nd wave.

Ah, the nostalgia of the days when everything wasn't costed to the n-th degree, and when people were valued more than ££.

[BEagle]

A chap on an exchange tour on Tornados with the Luftwaffe a few years ago told me that "It was rather like the RAF once was". He'd flown his Tornado over to Brize along the airways for the sole purpose of doing his civil RT exam with me at the flying club, whilst his back seater had a coffee and chatted with some of our pilots. The cost? A few bottles of Wobbly - and of course he passed the silly exam with flying colours.

A couple of his German squadron chums had asked their boss if they could go to somewhere in Norway one weekend. "Of course, no problem - but why Norway, it's hardly the French Riviera?", he replied. "Well boss, we've found this great seafood restaurant which does a good deal in exchange for the odd bottle...", they told him. "Ach so - mind if I come too?" came the response.

At pre-pongo Wattisham (before the customs rules changed), a Luftwaffe F-4E would often appear on Friday afternoons, complete with a bright orange centreline tank as well as the Fletchers. After the crew had dutifully each declared their bottle and 200 to the customs officer, they waited politely until he'd gone, having said that they were waiting for some of their chums from TTTE to give them a lift.

Now you don't really need a 3-bagger to get from Germany to Suffolk, for in fact the centreline tank wasn't a fuel tank at all. So once the revenue had left and the transport had turned up, the crew would open an access panel and all manner of contraband would emerge to be whisked off to Cottesmore before the jet was towed into the hangar for the weekend. Sadly, after the tug driver had managed to clout the tailplane on a hangar door on one occasion, once the jet had been repaired the Luftwaffe squadron boss had no real option but to stop the visits, in case someone asked just WTF had been going on.

[Chris Kebab]

Of course nobody here has ever borrowed a Hawk for a weekend with that old "It's OK; I'll do the wx check on my way back on Monday" excuse - have they now!

[JW411]

Pontius:

The "soil" for JEJ's garden at Steamer Point was flown from Nairobi to Khormaksar in a Beverley.

It would not have been possible to have got so much crap in a Canberra!

[Saintsman]

Even as a lowly young engineer, I've been dropped off by helicopter and picked up the following day.

"No problem, we were going that way anyway".

[Haraka]

Pontius:

The "soil" for JEJ's garden at Steamer Point was flown from Nairobi to Khormaksar in a Beverley.
Thanks for that ,I was told that it was in his allocated Valetta........

[Fareastdriver]

I was returning from domcol leave in Rhodesia in 1965. I was routed Salisbury-Nairobi-Khormaksa and then trooper back to the UK. I certain VVSO with a BofB background was flying it. Everything stopped at Nairobi and I was offloaded and had to wait two days for a trooper back to Gatwick.

I wonder why?

[zetec2]

JW411, quote:
Pontius:

The "soil" for JEJ's garden at Steamer Point was flown from Nairobi to Khormaksar in a Beverley.

It would not have been possible to have got so much crap in a Canberra!

Likewise lots of it in the Argosy, 105 Sqd Gardening Centre for VSO's

[LOMCEVAK]

Great thread about the 'good old days'. But am I the only one who suspects (knows!) that there some even better stories that still cannot be told quite so publicly as this?!

There is always a need for training and just ticking boxes and turning the spreadsheet green often achieves little, and some variety in sortie profiles is actually good value. And if there just happens to be some additional benefit to the crew ...

When I was at Lossiemouth about 1983, we once had an emergency compassionate return from Akrotiri on a VC-10 into Brize. I flew down to Brize in a Hunter to collect the pilot and fly him back to Lossie. It was winter so I was in an immersion suit. I walked into the passenger terminal from the ASP and handed a holdall of flying kit to my passenger and off home we went. From him getting an airborne recall in Cyprus to being home in Elgin was only about 8 hours which we thought was a great job well done. However, there was then an official complaint against me for 'scaring the passengers in the terminal at Brize' by virtue of going in there wearing an immersion suit!

[Rosevidney1]

And if a cab needed only a couple of hours before a major service at a training base - much better to burn them off on a jolly before the next flying term. I managed to 'oblige' on a couple of occasions.

[Haraka]

Compassionate cases were an exception. In 1975 at Aldergrove, a young army lad wandered in to my unit in a state of shock. His father was about to pass away in Newcastle General Hospital and he was due out on a Viscount to East Midlands Airport for onward road transportation to Newcastle. Unfortunately he had been dropped off on the wrong side of the airfield. A phone call then confirmed that the Viscount had had to depart.
Luckily we were collocated with the Army Air Corps Beaver detachment. A quick chat resulted in a Beaver being immediately tasked back to Great Britain, taking the lad on a direct flight to his father.The Beaver landed on the hospital sports field and he was at his father's bedside earlier than if he had been on the Viscount. I still have a tankard from his regiment on my bar shelf.

[klingonbc]

My father had a heart attack in the 90s while I was serving in NI with 72 Sqn. The boss and HQNI just said "get the Stby Wessex to fly me direct to the Hospital on the mainland." I was climbing out of the aircraft - rotors running at the Hosp - 1 hr 50 mins after the decision and less than 2 hours after Dad had arrived at the Hosp. Yes the immersion suit caused some questions as I entered the ward but he survived okay and lived for many years to come. Never did really thanks the Boss properly for that one - cheers Bryn
Kbc

[GGR155]

I had the pleasure to work in Ops during NATO exercise Hellenic Express in 1971/72 at Thessaloniki. The USAF had a spare C5 conveniently parked up, just in case...

Toward the end of the proceedings the American exercise commander ordered the crew to take a training flight to Incirlik AFB as his wife had been told by a friend that the Flokati Rugs on the base were the very best to be had! I was fortunate enough to ride along too.....and yes, a number of said rugs found the way back to Thessaloniki.

GGR

[26er]

I remember being tasked by the station commander to take the Meteor T7 from Chivenor to, I believe, Hawarden, to collect his son for the school holidays. The boy was in the CCF so that was OK. I imagine I wasn't to only guy to make this trip over the years ! It was some time in the sixties.

[tartare]

Not quite the same - but there is this:

Following the D-Day landings, Battle of Britain hero Tom Neil was assigned as an RAF liaison to an American fighter squadron. As the Allies pushed east, Neil commandeered an abandoned Spitfire as his own personal aeroplane. Erasing any evidence of its provenance and stripping it down to bare metal, it became the RAF's only silver Spitfire.

Alongside his US comrades, he took the silver Spitfire into battle until, with the war's end, he was forced to make a difficult decision. Faced with too many questions about the mysterious rogue fighter, he contemplated increasingly desperate measures to offload it, including bailing out mid-Channel. He eventually left the Spitfire at Worthy Down, never to be seen again.

[ancientaviator62]

I was a 'Comp A' on VC10 tanker refuelling Lightnings back to the UK from Akrotiri. My father died before I arrived at the Hospital but the RAF had pulled out all the stops. IMHO they always did in those circumstances.

[KiloB]

Some years ago I was on a deployment where change over dates had been arranged so that everyone had either Christmas or New Year at home. The only exception, in a Camp of 300 people, was me!
I was a long way down the pecking order and had made no comment, but on my return date,07 Jan, the Boss tasked an A/C back to 'home'. No reason was given for the trip, but it had an empty 'back seat' and it was suggested I might like to occupy it.
Now that's leadership.

[Tankertrashnav]

Likewise lots of it in the Argosy, 105 Sqd Gardening Centre for VSO's

Couldn't have been much soil. The oft quoted max payload for an Argosy for the Nairobi to Khormaksar trip was "a verbal message". Not noted for their carrying capacity.

[zetec2]

As a sooty and usually ending up doing the refuels we never went out of Embakasi with high fuel, did the short trip to Mombassa where tanks were topped up (I still have various Shell receipts in my folders for the uploads) for the flog back to K/Sar, and yes the Argosy could carry enough of the "red stuff" to fill the back of a couple of 1 tonners, it was ok at Nairobi where local labour loaded the aircraft but it was us "erks" at K/Sar who had to unload it, I was there and did it on more than one occasion !!!!.

[zetec2]

Also not forgetting our celebrated VSO who served in WW2 used the Argosy in very posh internal fit (carpets, curtains and very comfy seats) on quite a few times for him, family and hangers on for his holidays down at "Treetops", exclusive use, I did the white overall dishing up refreshments duty a couple of times myself.

[Null Orifice]

Although it was supposedly a 'nav trainer' around the South Pacific, a VSO from FEAF made use of a 48 Squadron Herk for his (ahem) farewell tour of his domain prior to the RAF's East of Suez withdrawal. His own VIP Andover was either unavailable or unsuitable for this trip.

The VIP preparations on the Herk included a posh bog, in a Portakabin-style enclosure that was complete with its own water tank, situated in the forward right of the cargo compartment. Several other comfort and convenience mods were carried out including a carpet on the floor and a liberal application of polythene sheeting in the roof of the cargo bay to catch any escape of hydraulic fluid that exceeded the aileron booster pack's drip tray capacity. Other refinements included a bespoke set of steps (with handrail !) to facilitate the said VSO's enplaning and deplaning via the para door. A laborious clean of both the interior and exterior of the aircraft was enjoyed immensely by all concerned!

Age has limited my memory's capacity to further expand on these notes. If he was still on the squadron at the time, perhaps a certain ancientaviator62 could possibly add to my recollections?

[Maxibon]

Pontius:


It would not have been possible to have got so much crap in a Canberra!

You never flew with the "ton" then?

[Pom Pax]

It was not just one way traffic from North Ireland. We were due for an afternoon navex from 2 ANS, route the usual triangle Thorney - Point of Ayre - Alnwick - TI. However we were told that we were to take a passenger to Aldergrove. Whoever he was or why I know not but it only cost R.A.F. about an extra 80 (statute) route miles.
It was only the time I've been to Ulster and all I saw was a solitary hare on a damp airfield.

P.S. Obviously we used Aldergrove not Point of Ayre as our turning point.

[Fareastdriver]

The Puma CAAP programme was a Godsend.

The Components Advanced Ageing Programme was a joint effort between Aerospatial, The French Army and the Royal Air Force to prove that the gearboxs could run well in excess of their 800 hrs. overhaul life. This was to enable the manufacturer to place the aircraft on the civil market where 1,800 hrs. TBO was the norm.

The aircraft, XW203, was required to fly 100 hrs. a month. At certain periods the gearbox would be lifted and replaced with another that was part of the program that had been inspected for wear. The normal ST98 rate was about 30 hrs. a month so finding things for it to do was a bit of a challenge.

Machrihanish for kippers, at the same time take one of our airman on leave to the Hebrides and land him on the beach a few hundred yards from his parents house. Regular trips to Gutersloh to load up with Deutsche Sekt for formal and semi-formal occasions; we had an 'arrangement' with the blokes in the portcullis hats at Manson.
We even had some take it to Aberdeen for job interviews.

Unfortunately on a bog standard training flight it decided to attempt a barrel roll just after take off from a field. It only managed 80% of it but luckily the crew waded out of it although it was burning quite badly.

[harrym]

There was (is?) a large grey area between what is 100% legal in the narrowest sense as against positively venal, as per that wise dictum: “.......rules and regulations are for observance by fools, but for the guidance of wise men”. Between the two extremes lies a wide space which those possessed of discernment can use to their own advantage, without any disadvantage to the public good and often of honest benefit to others.

Take for instance the situation where a type-conversion cross country flight was routed 'up north', giving the chance to carry out an instrument approach at Machrihanish (unfamiliar airfield, thus good training value) where a local fish merchant was waiting with a van full of previously ordered fresh fish. Thus at no cost to public funds the local economy was enhanced, while a significant number of families at Brize were able to enjoy the healthiest of foods – and yes, the fish (especially the kippers) was just divine!

Then there was the occasion at Abingdon when, faced with the prospect of a dreary six hour drive home for the weekend, I learnt that a Beverley was shortly to leave for Dishforth; so, with the help of a friendly movements staff (and good training for them too!) my car and I were soon on our way in comfort at 8000ft instead of enduring the horrors of a long pre-motorway journey. Was it sinful of me? - perhaps, but it harmed nobody.

[BEagle]

Machrihanish 'fish runs' were quite common in the 1970s.

The idea being to collect a bag of Dublin Bay prawns, then bring them back for a feast at one's station.

There was plenty of room in a Hunter Sabrina for quite a big bag of prawns; however, one idiot decided that he'd fly back from Machrihanish to RAF Brawdy at 250ft rather than flying a prawn-chilling high level bore-ex. This was the Summer of '76, so by the time he got home he had a warm, smelly bag of part-cooked prawns in the Sabrina. No-one wanted anything to do with them, so they ended up in the nearby drain. What a mistake to make!

My late father told me of a 'fish run' to RAF Merryfield in the early 1950s. One fine day, a 236 OCU Lancaster arrived from RAF Kinloss and bounced its way along the runway, to be met by some of the local Vampire QFIs. The rear door opened and a large Speyside salmon was handed over, it was to be the centrepiece of the Officers Mess Summer Ball buffet. The Lancaster didn't even shut down and was soon its way North again!

[Tankertrashnav]

After I finished the NBS course at Lindholme I did a few trips as nav in the Hastings while waiting for my Victor OCU. One was a trip to Stornoway whose sole purpose, as I recall, was to bring back various items of seafood.
All went well until on the return trip someone called out that some of our "passengers" had got loose. Much scurrying around the rear of the fuselage ensued as we collected up live lobsters which had escaped from their crate and were making a bid for freedom.

[ancientaviator62]

Null,
your recollections are spot on. I think by then the VIP Andover had departed although it was on 48's 'books' as FEAF Comms Flt had disbanded. Thankfully I was too lowly for such a prestigious task ! As I recall the poly sheeting had a not unexpected consequence. It may have lessened the chance of a hydraulic drip on the pax but it allowed the humid air to condense and drip water into the cargo compartment in rather greater amounts than normal.
Shortly after that I went home to the UK.

[Wander00]

Certainly when 360 still had B2s rather than the shiny "new" T17s, we used to go land away in Germany with a bomb bay box that hooked to the bomb carriers full of lamb. TOD you would pass the current contents - so many legs, so many shoulders, and an orderly queue would be waiting on landing

[57mm]

Whilst on MPC at Valley, I heard that my daughter back at Coningsby had contracted meningitis. The Sqn boss gave me a jet to fly back, for which I am eternally grateful. Daughter recovered fully.

[nipva]

School of Refresher Flying (SORF) Manby in the late 60s:ten bob into the coffee swindle gave you a JP4 for the weekend. I remember 'borrowing' one to take to Coltishall but, because Colt decided to close early that Friday, arranging to go to Norwich where I landed on a green from ATC because JPs were UHF only.
Who would authorise that nowadays!

[Maxibon]

Wasn't the main character in Frederick Forsyth's The Shepherd taking a Vampire home from Celle to Blighty for Christmas?!

[2Planks]

Let's not forget the joys of AMPLE GAIN, if only I could remember the bits of the weekend in between the sorties I could write a travel book........

[cavuman1]

Back before - way before - the U.S. embargo of Cuba, my father, a Commander in the United States Naval Reserve, was instrumental in the legal if somewhat surreptitious importation of Cuban rum. His choice of transport was the venerable DC-3; in Naval nomenclature, an R4D-2. The craft flew VIP's - Admirals and their (lady) companions - regularly between Miami and Havana. These sturdy craft had a fuel capacity of 822 gallons U.S. Dad greased the proper palms of the appropriate authorities and arranged to have the starboard wing tank filled with 400 gallons of high-proof rum. After a number of successful and highly profitable forays, Dad decided to go along on a flight to enjoy the bountiful beauty of that then-unspoiled Caribbean paradise. And he did...

Two days later he boarded the "Pack Rat" to fly back to Miami. He noticed a line boy mounting the starboard wing, laboring under the weight of the shoulder-slung fuel hose. Suppressing a grand mal epileptiform seizure and an inexorable urge to follow through, Dad lept from his seat and ran out of the plane onto the apron. "STOP!", he screamed at the top of his lungs. Too late! The line boy, missing a number of teeth, smiled broadly. He chortled: "Señor Capitan! Ju weel be glad to know that I have topped off jour right tank! Eet was theerty gallons low!" Ron Rico plus 100 LL do not a fine drink make, orange slices and miniature umbrellas notwithstanding. And thus came to an inglorious end my beloved and clever father's career as a rum runner!

- Ed

[MPN11]

School of Refresher Flying (SORF) Manby in the late 60s:ten bob into the coffee swindle gave you a JP4 for the weekend. I remember 'borrowing' one to take to Coltishall but, because Colt decided to close early that Friday, arranging to go to Norwich where I landed on a green from ATC because JPs were UHF only.
Who would authorise that nowadays!Thanks for confirming my recollection of the ten-bob JPs from Manby (my post #19) :ok:!

[sitigeltfel]

When (ex) President Hollande took his first holiday excursion to the South of France, the man of the people forsook the Presidential jet, and took the TGV instead. This humble act of travelling as ordinary folks do actually caused chaos and cost millions. By law, every bridge, crossing and tunnel had to be protected by police, and thousands of them were diverted from ordinary duties.
When he finally arrived, his jet was waiting for him at Toulon, having flown down empty.

[Fareastdriver]

A similar story just after the War in Europe.

An RAF pilot had a contact at a USAAC unit and could get hold of unlimited supplies of coffee. This would fed into a tank of a Mosquito and he would transport it to Germany where others would decant it for the black market.

The weather socked in over Germany so he had to return to Manston.

Whoops.

[Fareastdriver]

When he finally arrived, his jet was waiting for him at Toulon, having flown down empty.

3 Group. Bomber Command's HQ was at Mildenhall. When Honington had it's AOC's inspection the AOC was picked up from his office by his Jaguar and transported to an Anson. This would fly him on his short trip to Honington.

Meanwhile his driver would be hurling this Jaguar along the country roads of Suffolk so as to get to Honington so the AOC could step out of his Anson and into his Jaguar and go and have pre-inspection tea with the wheels in the Mess.

Reasonable, I suppose. You wouldn't expect an Air Officer to be tossed around in the back of a Jaguar like a rag doll.

[BossEyed]

Spitfire "Mod. XXX" (http://spitfiresite.com/2012/01/modification-xxx-beer-carrying-spitfires.html)

http://spitfiresite.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Spitfire_beer3.jpg
http://spitfiresite.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Spitfire_beer1.jpg

[BEagle]

When Kelvin Rucksack was Stn Cdr at the covert Oxonian aerodrome, he decided that he needed a lift back from Cranwell one Friday afternoon, rather than being driven back.

No problem, he'd be driven to Waddo and would be picked up by VC10K on its way home after an AAR trip.

But the aircraft (ZA142), knowing that its service days were numbered, in rather a petulant mood decided to blow an engine at around FL100 after take-off from Brize, so we dumped fuel and landed on 3. We naturally assumed that Kelvin would be taking his fast-black home from Lincolnshire instead.

But no. He demanded another aircraft as he wanted to fly back for some 'urgent reason'. So at no little trouble to the groundcrew, already faced with a #2 engine change on the first jet, another was B/F'd and prepped for the task and a crew was rounded up from amongst those who hadn't already scarpered. Thus 90 min after landing back off the first trip, we were off to collect him - and an air wheel who was with him - finally getting back at 18:40Z.

Was there some urgent service reason for this extra 1:05 of VC10 time, plus an additional Friday A/F for the lads? Yes indeed - Kelvin wanted to take his air wheel to Happy Hour...:rolleyes:...to be driven home when his driver eventually made it back from Waddo.

Much as I like flying and it was a nice early Spring afternoon/evening, I was acutely aware of the utter buggeration this would have caused the groundcrew at the start of their weekend. Fortunately though, we were in ZA150 (now languishing at Dunsfold) and true to her normal behaviour, she was fully serviceable on landing!

It was probably the last engine change ever needed on a VC10K2, because around 3 weeks later we flew it to Scrapheap Challenge St.Athan, the last flight of an ex-airline 'standard' VC10.

[Lou Scannon]

I can but hope that today's Air Force still pull out the stops to help fellow servicemen, of any or no rank, when they require compassionate travel. In my day I saw many heartwarming examples where rules were bent to the general increase of loyalty to the Service by all involved.

Regarding the uplift of soil from Kenya to the certain VSO's garden in Aden: Whilst our Hastings was being loaded with the stuff by disgruntled groundcrew, I suggested that a few litres of hydraulic oil might help the mix. One NCO looked at me in horror, took me to one side and explained that they wouldn't dream of taking such action. Having spent hours collecting leather jackets to put in the soil they certainly weren't including something that might harm them!

And as to the use of H.M's machines for recreational use: Many ex Herc crews will remember G.O's private landrover. He bought an ex-army vehicle and deliberately left all the camouflage and fittings in place. When the crew went off on a jolly no one ever noticed that the Land Rover driving off the back at various RAF stations had civil number plates!

[denachtenmai]

204 Squadron Ballykelly 1961/62 and block leave was the order of the day for the 3 squadrons based there.
2 Shacks were prepped and flown, one on a southern route and the other a midland and northern route, each for a Navex mind you.
I must admit that it was easier getting from Manston home than bus, train, boat, train, train and nearly 24 hours:ok:

[Fareastdriver]

IIRC there was a 'training' Comet that used to route Lyneham Washington-Goose Bay-Lyneham just before Xmas and flew the reverse in the New Year.

[sitigeltfel]

In the early 70s, a 46 Squadron Andover would occasionally come in to Manston to do some circuit training on Friday afternoons. During one of its full stop landings, a certain ex Squadron member on a ground tour would get a lift out to it in the ATC Land Rover, and hop on board.

Strangely enough, another aircraft would turn up on the following Monday or Tuesday calling for a practice diversion!

[langleybaston]

When Topcliffe Varsities supported the V Force deployments to Maccrihanish the return flights were laden with boxes of kippers, and all and sundry [even lowly Met] pre-ordered. I expect the middleman made a few bob, but kippers and price were good.

[JW411]

One of my very best friends (who is sadly no longer with us) spent a lot of time on the Hastings. The basic story is this:

He got called out to do a special flight to Singapore. The load was a set of Victor (or Vulcan) bomb doors which were urgently needed in Tengah - the originals had "come off" in flight - for whatever reason. The deal was that they had to bust a gut outbound but could take their time back to UK.

On arrival in Tengah, my friend was informed that he would be taking a VSO's Mercedes back to UK "Indulgence Freight" and that he was to present himself in front of VSO at 0800 next morning.

This he did, expecting to receive some thanks for taking said car back to UK but instead he received a severe "pre-bollocking" that he would be held responsible for any scratches etc and that he was not to allow anyone to use said Mercedes as a crew rest bunk.

On the way to Gan, the AQM gave the paperwork a good inspection. VSO had not owned the vehicle for over 1 year and so it was liable for import tax if they could get it back to UK very quickly.

So, they busted a gut on the way home also and took great delight in pointing out to UK Customs that the vehicle was subject to import tax and to please go ahead with imposing the duty.

The vehicle did not have a scratch on it and it had not been slept in.

It always pays to be polite.

[thunderbird7]

A week after the mighty 'rods left SMG, we planned a pd during an Ops CT in order to drop off the late John Gill's bicycle and kit to his wife, as he was shortly posted back down south. On landing, an 'o'ring seal on the red system brakes split and we dumped the fluid all over the pan. Now, you would think there might still be a rubber seal left in stores and someone to sign off the work but alas, no joy. Rumbled! Seal and a Chief Tech had to be flown down from Kinloss to fix it.
Being Friday night, we repaired to the bar where, as old friends and kipper mates, we were treated to beers by all and sundry. Imagine my surprise when at about 2200, our trusty crew chief phoned the mess requesting help to jack up the jet. The recently appointed (grumpy) Sqn Ldr Ops had insisted we do it instead of using any of the VASF guys, so I can honestly say, its the only time I've jacked up an aeroplane while completely ****ers but it all went perfectly well so there must be a moral in that somewhere...

[charliegolf]

the late John Gill

Not a Puma pilot previously?

CG

[Yellow Sun]

Not a Puma pilot previously?

CG

An AEO of this parish.

YS

[charliegolf]

An AEO of this parish.

YS

YS, thanks.:ok:

[Octane]

Years ago I was in Perth to be best man for a mates (RAAF) wedding. Was having a beer in the garden at my cousins place a few miles from Perth airport smack under approach path. Almighty noise, looked up to see an F111 fly over the top. Saw my mate the next day and mentioned I hadn't realized how noisy F111's were. He replied, yep they're mates coming over for the the wedding. How did they organize that?! NAVEX was his reply! Amberley, Queensland to Perth, WA in an F111 for a wedding! That's got to be a bit of a record for a "Jolly"?!

[Danny42C]

I submit this entry as being literally relevant to this Thread (culled from my Post on "Pilot's Brevet Page 153, #3047):

Extra Title: Danny and matters scatologigal: - The Deep Trench Latrine.

In response to a total lack of interest in the subject, but having a while back promised an article on this indelicate (but quite essential) component of our daily life in the forward areas now behind us, here is my recollection - (and those who remember Louis de Bernières' novel: "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" may remember a similar, amusing description of Italian troops).

I cannot do better by way of description than to recount an enduring sad tale that I must have heard a score of times - but never with exact details of time or place - (I believe it was current in the Middle East, too).

First, to set the scene: In a basha is dug a narrow trench, straddled by a long narrow timber box, This has an open bottom and is provided with a row of suitable holes on top. There are no doors or partitions - such civilised conventions have long been discarded in our life at the sharp end.*

Of course the normal military distinctions still had to be observed: separate DTLs for Officers and ORs (British), another set (of modified design) for the Indian Officers and ranks. (How did they manage with the Muslim/Hindu divide, and the Caste problems with the latter ? - No idea - Anglo-Indians ? I think they counted as British for this purpose.

Consequently, these places hosted convivial gatherings. Here was a forum for the discussion of important military matters; the latest rumours were disseminated (hence the term: "Latrinogram"), and the topics of the day given a good airing (no pun intended). Hinged lids were provided to try to abate the fly nuisance. Pretty well every visitor (even non-smokers) took a cigarette in with him (as a deodoriser - now you can see the advantage to "Stew" Mobsby of losing his sense of smell !) It was forbidden to throw a lighted butt down the hole, but there was always someone who forgot.

Our hero was one such. He picked himself up some fifty feet away, with a badly scorched bottom, surrounded with shattered timbers and covered all over with - well, not exactly with "sweet violets" ! He was not alone, his companions (in a like state) were not well pleased with him, and were making the fact loudly and abundantly clear. The "netty", "dunny", call it what you will, had (to use a common expression in "babu" English): "Gone from that place, Sahib".

What had happened ? Methane in the trench had built up to the point where, mingled with air, it had reached the "stoichiometric ratio" at which the mixture became explosive. The dog-end provided the detonator.

Is the story true ? Well, it could have happened, couldn't it ?

Note *: And not only at the sharp end. In the Basic and Advanced flying schools of the US Army Air Corps (which were 100% military units), I recall the same companiable arrangement with rows of gleaming mahogany and porcelain thrones in the washrooms (so there was no chance of a quiet break with cigarette and newspaper). Primary Schools were basically civilian-run: more customary standards prevailed there).

I promise you that is the last word on the subject.
Danny42C.